Suddenly your child is thrust from the small primary and junior school that they attended. Into a full-on secondary school that is 4 or 5 times the size. It is scary for them as well as it is for you. They are not used to the grand scale of the school and you are certainly not ready to let your baby go. But there are so many ways that you can help your child cope with secondary school. You just need to talk to them and make sure they know what they are going into.
Before They Start School
Start looking for secondary schools, whilst your child is in Year 5. This means you can check them out over 2 years and see if they have got better over this time. If they have got worse, there is time to choose another school and if they stay the same then that’s not too bad either. The school needs to be your child’s choice, but they need to understand that they need to go to the school that they will excel in. This means choosing an institution that provides academic, as well as extra-curricular excellence. For instance, there’s no point in sending your child who loves team sports to a school where opportunities to join school teams simply won’t be available, and this will need to factor into your choice.
Similarly, if your child excels in science, picking a dedicated STEM academy where they are likely to thrive in their favourite subjects, as well as all others, will be better than choosing somewhere that only prioritises the humanities. Much will depend on what you want for your child, and what your child wants for themselves. You should also make a point of choosing an institution that makes good use of educational consulting to ensure that they are providing for your child the best education year on year.
If there is a summer school option at the school, then take it. Your child will have to give up 4 or 5 days of their summer holiday, but it will be worth it as they learn to somewhat navigate the school before they officially start. It can be a great chance for students who are still developing their language skills to learn English at a summer school, which can boost their confidence and help them settle in more easily when the term begins.
If they make any friends before they start the new school officially then that’s always a good idea. But you can’t push your child onto another friend if they don’t want to. Join social media groups for the school. This is good for finding out details about the school and will help put your mind at rest with any problems.
Prepare them for their new school, go shopping with them and let them buy cool school things that they need. Try to get them to blend in as much as they can. This will make the transition easier.
Their First Weeks
It is going to be hard for them in the first few weeks. The work is more intense so they are going to feel tired, physically and emotionally. There will be tears and panic as they try to work their way around the new school. They will get lost, no matter how many times they are told directions. Keep a lookout for signs that they are not coping and speak to them about it. They probably won’t admit they are struggling. But you will be able to tell with their behaviour.
Speak to the school if there are any problems. If your child is under the school nurse or SENCO, then make sure they get the right help that they need. Push hard for it if you need to. Speaking to the school might not be easy and you will have to take a few attempts before they listen – BUT MAKE THEM LISTEN. Your child comes first.
Help your child with bus routes or safe routes for walking home. This will make them feel independent and they can find their way home with their friends. It is all part of their growing up and spreading their wings.
You might need to change bedtimes. I know they are preteens, but these preteens will stay up all night if they can. They really need to understand that the new school is taking pressure on them and they need to rest as much as they can at night. This means they are refreshed and ready for school in the morning.
Being Ready Yourself
It is so hard to let go, to see your child go off and do something new in the world. But it is something that you need to do. There are so many times in your child’s life where you need to let them go. You need to pull your big girls and boys big pants up and get on with it. If you are flaky, your child will be too. Good luck with this stage in your parenting journey.